Sunday, May 11, 2014

Motherhood Misconceptions

This is a post from my old blog. I originally wrote it On March 31, 2011. I was looking through old blog posts and I thought this would be perfect to share for Mother's Day.

Today I was thinking about all the ways I have failed as a mother. Well not really, "failed", I just mean that before I ever had kids, I made up all these rules in my head for how to be the perfect mom. Then I became a mom and realized these rules were idealistic misconceptions. Here are some of the rules I have broken misconceptions. 

  1. My babies will all be planned pregnancies and I will be married
  2. I will deliver my baby in a birthing center with a midwife.
  3. I will lose all my baby fat right away.
  4. My baby will never suck a pacifier or his thumb until he is 5 years old.
  5. My baby will never drink formula.
  6. I will never fall asleep holding my baby.  
  7. I will never be too lazy to change a dirty diaper.
  8. My baby will sleep in his crib every night, not in my bed or his bouncy seat beside my bed.
  9. I will watch my baby's every move to keep him safe, not walk into my room expecting him to follow only to hear him fall down the stairs 3 seconds later.
  10. I will never get angry at my baby for crying and kick a hole in my wall then go lock myself in my bathroom and cry.
So those are the rules I broke misconceptions I learned the first year. The learning did not stop there though. 
  1. My children's clothes will always match. 
  2. I will never say, "because I told you so."
  3. I will never threaten or bribe my child.
  4. I will never swear in front of my child. 
  5. I will never let them watch a movie or play a video game that is rated beyond their age. 
  6. I will always answer their questions or look up the answers I don't know. 
  7. I will never use TV as a babysitter. 
  8. Every meal will be healthy and include all food groups. 
  9. I will never, EVER spank my child. 
  10. I will read a book to them every night before bed. 
I am sure there are many more. I usually think of them right after I break them. I don't let it get to me too much though because I thought my kids were going to be perfect also. Of course they have broken a lot of rules misconceptions too.  
  1. My baby will wait the full nine months after conception to be born, not 12 WEEKS EARLY!
  2. My baby will sleep through the night right away or at least before he is 7 years old!
  3. My child will never embarrass me in public. 
  4. My child will never slip out of my sight in the blink of an eye. 
  5. My child will like the same foods I like and eat whatever I put in front of him.
  6. My child will always obey me the first time I tell him. 
  7. My child will never pick up bad habits from his friends. 
  8. My child will always be a good friend and play nicely with others.
  9. My child will stop throwing temper tantrums when he turns 3. 
  10. My child will never need to be reminded to clean his room over and over and OVER again!
So motherhood did not turn out how I thought it would. I am not the prefect Mom and my kids are not perfect either. I never could have guessed how much I would love it though. I feel immensely blessed to be the mother of these 2 (now 3) amazing boys. 

There is one more rule misconception I saved for the end, "I will love my children the same." I found that this is impossible because they are not the same person. Yes, I love them the same amount but in different ways and for different reasons. 

I love that Skittles is brilliant, creative, friendly, helpful, and vivacious. 
I love that Twizzler is cuddly, independent, sensitive, pleasing, and caring. 
I love that Hershey is thoughtful, curious, loving, tough, and gentle. 

I may technically be their teacher but they teach me a lot too. 

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